Making No (Fashion) Sense
I admit it. I have no fashion sense whatsoever. That’s why I’m not very creative with my wardrobe. At work, I wear a shirt and tie or dress shirt or golf shirt. At home, I wear a youth ministry t-shirt. And when I do go out, Gail usually picks out my clothes for me. When I dare venture to dress myself, I will go to her for her seal of approval. Once she’s done laughing, she’ll usually suggest I change either my shirt, pants, socks, or all 3!
I don’t really go shopping for clothes; I’d rather spend my money on my awesome kids, my lovely wife, or my tasty pepsi. So I’m not really joking when I tell people that I’ve been wearing the same clothes since grade 8. As my brother Jason so nicely stated at my wedding, it doesn’t hurt that I haven’t grown since grade 8.
And on the rare occasions when I’m late to a function, I’m never, ever fashionably late. Just late. And usually unfashionably so.
Two recent encounters reinforced my lack of fashion sense.
Earlier today, I was with 5 teens from St. Paul’s (Mia, Sharon, Miguel, Adrian, and Calvin) who I enlisted to help me in a video I’m putting together for a talk I’m doing this Friday. One part of the skit was to include a couple of them carrying a shopping bag from a “cool” store. The original skit listed Abercrombie & Fitch, but I knew the writers were American.
So I thought I would show my “coolness” and I showed up with a GAP bag.
“What’s that?” they asked…almost in unison.
“It’s a bag from the GAP,” I answered, looking at Mia and Calvin. “You guys can pretend you just bought some jeans there for the skit.”
“Uh…no one shops there anymore.”
“Oh really?” I asked incredulously. “So where do all the teens shop now.”
All 5 of them replied: “American Eagle.”
“Isn’t that an airline?”
So I guess I showed my age once again. It was a nice little reminder that I need to continue to develop my knowledge of teen culture…especially given I’m a youth minister!
The other incident happened last month, after my trip to the States to buy our new van. On the way back, Krissy and I stopped at one of the major Oregon outlets to take advantage of our strong dollar and no sales tax. I spent a good chunk of change in GAP (haha) and Carters buying clothes for our new baby girl, due in December. Basically, if it was pink or purple and cheap, I bought it.
Upon arriving home, I laid all the clothes out on the kitchen table and excitedly waited for Gail to get home and see them. I knew she’d be proud of my thoughtfulness and hopefully, my taste.
She picked up the first dress and asked, “Uh…Clayton?”
“Yes, dear” I sheepishly replied. She never uses my full name. I knew I was in trouble already.
“What season will it be when our baby is born?”
I put on my best smile: “Well…given that the due date is just before Christmas…that would be winter!”
She held up the sleeveless dress. “Then how is she supposed to wear this?”
Quick Clay. Or make that, Clayton. Think of something quick.
“Maybe when she’s exercising at home?”
As Gail shook her head in disbelief, I went into guilt trip mode.
“Couldn’t you have looked at everything I bought before you commented?”
“Don’t you know that I only spent on the baby and not on myself?”
“Isn’t the rest of the stuff nice?”
“Didn’t I get good deals?”
“At least you have a new van to drive!!!”
In all truthfulness, Gail was actually really good about it, even before the guilt trip. She did indeed acknowledge that I had made some good purchases, and that some of the outfits were even cute. And within a minute of our original exchange, she had combined the sleeveless dress with another top I had bought to come up with a pretty alternative.
So the next time you see Sean and Jake dressed up like me, give them a polite hello and even throw in a “you guys look good” if you want. Then pray for them. A lot.
I don’t really go shopping for clothes; I’d rather spend my money on my awesome kids, my lovely wife, or my tasty pepsi. So I’m not really joking when I tell people that I’ve been wearing the same clothes since grade 8. As my brother Jason so nicely stated at my wedding, it doesn’t hurt that I haven’t grown since grade 8.
And on the rare occasions when I’m late to a function, I’m never, ever fashionably late. Just late. And usually unfashionably so.
Two recent encounters reinforced my lack of fashion sense.
Earlier today, I was with 5 teens from St. Paul’s (Mia, Sharon, Miguel, Adrian, and Calvin) who I enlisted to help me in a video I’m putting together for a talk I’m doing this Friday. One part of the skit was to include a couple of them carrying a shopping bag from a “cool” store. The original skit listed Abercrombie & Fitch, but I knew the writers were American.
So I thought I would show my “coolness” and I showed up with a GAP bag.
“What’s that?” they asked…almost in unison.
“It’s a bag from the GAP,” I answered, looking at Mia and Calvin. “You guys can pretend you just bought some jeans there for the skit.”
“Uh…no one shops there anymore.”
“Oh really?” I asked incredulously. “So where do all the teens shop now.”
All 5 of them replied: “American Eagle.”
“Isn’t that an airline?”
So I guess I showed my age once again. It was a nice little reminder that I need to continue to develop my knowledge of teen culture…especially given I’m a youth minister!
The other incident happened last month, after my trip to the States to buy our new van. On the way back, Krissy and I stopped at one of the major Oregon outlets to take advantage of our strong dollar and no sales tax. I spent a good chunk of change in GAP (haha) and Carters buying clothes for our new baby girl, due in December. Basically, if it was pink or purple and cheap, I bought it.
Upon arriving home, I laid all the clothes out on the kitchen table and excitedly waited for Gail to get home and see them. I knew she’d be proud of my thoughtfulness and hopefully, my taste.
She picked up the first dress and asked, “Uh…Clayton?”
“Yes, dear” I sheepishly replied. She never uses my full name. I knew I was in trouble already.
“What season will it be when our baby is born?”
I put on my best smile: “Well…given that the due date is just before Christmas…that would be winter!”
She held up the sleeveless dress. “Then how is she supposed to wear this?”
Quick Clay. Or make that, Clayton. Think of something quick.
“Maybe when she’s exercising at home?”
As Gail shook her head in disbelief, I went into guilt trip mode.
“Couldn’t you have looked at everything I bought before you commented?”
“Don’t you know that I only spent on the baby and not on myself?”
“Isn’t the rest of the stuff nice?”
“Didn’t I get good deals?”
“At least you have a new van to drive!!!”
In all truthfulness, Gail was actually really good about it, even before the guilt trip. She did indeed acknowledge that I had made some good purchases, and that some of the outfits were even cute. And within a minute of our original exchange, she had combined the sleeveless dress with another top I had bought to come up with a pretty alternative.
So the next time you see Sean and Jake dressed up like me, give them a polite hello and even throw in a “you guys look good” if you want. Then pray for them. A lot.
posted by Clay at 12:16 AM
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